the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
do herpes really smell.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
