Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
