Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
