well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize