Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
