i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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