I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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