Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
