Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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