I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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