that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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