you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
