Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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