We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
