We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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