I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
