ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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