ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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