"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
