Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Randomize