eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
