she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
