Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
