It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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