Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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