She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
