i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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