no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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