He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You have to summon your inner elephant
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
