During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
