Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
