My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We got so high we made milksteak
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
