I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's shark week go big or go home
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize