you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
