Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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