well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
