My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
