What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
