you guys were way drunker than both of me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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