Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
