sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just invented taco cereal.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
