She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
