Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
