Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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