it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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