He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
