Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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