Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
