apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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