went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
