my soul wont recognize me after tonight
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
