you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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