return my video game
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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