He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
