I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
