i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
