Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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