Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he shaved USA in his pubs
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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