A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hippo gnu deer
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
