false alarm. still invincible.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
