Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Non-Jews are for practice
one might say we're banned from that church
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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