He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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