he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
