He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
